Salsa!!

Having the second session of salsa tonight. Quite enjoyable though if you asked me, i would still rather prefer the edible kind... HmMMmm with nachos and cheese... yum!
As usual, there was way too many women sharing the pathetic number of men in the class. Whatmore (and that's not being overly cocky), most of the women danced far better than the men. Case in point, one of the guys actually 'danced' by remembering the steps by linking it to military marching commands. Wouldn't that be nice to see on a National day parade? A contingent of soldiers doing the salsa *oops* sorry, march pass the President on TV.

As for me, i don't think i have the flair and aptitude to do good salsa though rhythm i get, steps i remember. Still, a sight far better than 'forward 2 3 4, backward 6 7 8, Kekakan Puseng!' (at least that's what i thought he said).

Deja vu... well, thereabouts

It's a trifle bit disconcerting to be typing in your own blog and the first other website you surf had the name of your blog, as a title to their blog.

Not that there's any relation.
Just something that jumps out once in a while.
I guess in this instance it must be only me (darn! the voices in my head!) who even find the name Madness Monologues vaguely familiar.

3 year-old husky male to give away

Found this friendly and affectionate husky named wiggy at the pet shop near where i worked yesterday whose owner wanted to give him away. Originally the owner wanted to put him to sleep because they are moving to a condo and wiggy needs a compound to roam in.

So anyone interested please let me know?
Preferably someone who has an outdoor area and no other big-sized male dog. Wiggy is quite territorial but is very good with smaller dogs (saw him playing with pet shop's jack russell) and also cats. Doesn't bite but may want to intimidate larger dogs (male ego thing).

Really very very cute. Would love to have him if i don't already have a possessive Rottweiler!

It is Official!

Half my stress burden is gone!!!!!
Well, in terms of work and reports that is.
And i am now free!
Free as a bird!
FREE!

.. to perhaps concentrate on the other half of my stress burden.

Can i elope? Please?

Am bl**dy confused with all this supposably essential wedding prep and it is driving me (& him) quite nuts.

So.

Anyone been to a wedding at beaufort before?
Nice or not?
No one seems to be answering that question for me at the *god help me* *whisper* bridal forum *gasp gasp*...

This is nuts.
Couples shouldn't be ALLOWED to go through all this madness just to be together.
It should be outlawed!

And did i mention the issue about parents and number of guests and bridal gown and videographers and photographers and whatnots and whatnotsnots? I am probably just in denial, unwilling to confront the *cough* issues and who can blame me? I blame the accursed society who invented the whole wedding fiasco and brain-washing everyone (esp parents) on what needs to be done, should be done, have to be done.

Seriously, can i elope?

It is nice for friends to offer to help but frankly, if only i know what i need help in. They should come up with a wedding/marriage manual, to be taught right from the time i was borned.

But i think it's only me. Everyone else seems to be enjoying the preparation. Would you believe that brides in 2006 have already started? And those in 2005 already got their wedding venues? What's this? A society of super women whose major is logistic exist in singapore? Why wasn't i a part of this superior race? Instead people look at me funny because i don't have a actual day planned, a bridal salon lined up, a photographer on hold for the photo shoot and a videographer standing by.

I feel inadequate.
That shouldn't be allowed too. *snort*

So i am trying and trying to get it together with his help. And it seems like our dream of what our wedding will be like gets further and further away from us as we jump into the whole wedding prep loop, along with the other rats. The worse thing is, i am not sure i like morphing into this "get-a-whole-wedding-coordinated" super woman-freak and pulling him along with me.

But i AM stressed not having anything done. And it is going to be Nov soon! And the wedding is Nov 05! See? I can't believe i am saying that and freaking out when i still have a year! But that's typical! That's life! That's Singapore! (see how excited i am?! Count the exclamation marks!!!!!!)

*take deep breath*
Seriously... Why shouldn't i elope?

Lists

Things i do to keep myself sane:

1) Play with the cat

2) Drive to nearest petrol kiosk in the middle of the night and devour a large packet of ruffles potato chips (original)

3) Impulse-shopping at the very same petrol kiosk. Include items like 1 tub of b&j ice cream (which would be promptly forgotten and left in the freezer till its time to be defrosted), 2 cans of tuna, 2 tubes of cling wrap (shrug), cherry tomatos, one vegetable puff which i originally thought was tuna, 1 box of tic-tacs, aluminium foil (add to the two which i already had at home, in preparation of a bbq that would never materialize) and car seat leather cleaner.

Perhaps i really ought to have said, things i do to keep myself in-sane...

Let me start again,
1) Play with the cat (this time sleep on his tummy till he whimpers and surrenders)
2) Stare vacantly at the sliding door while leaving the tv on and clutching a book
3) Allow my other self to talk and scare the weebie jeebies out of him
4) Act on impulse and drive to Bt Panjang to pick up someone for supper across the island in the middle of the night
5) Bite my bolster. Hard.
6) Make crazy faces behind people's backs at work
7) Entertain colleagues by acting strange during dinners
8) Refusing to blog

That said, perhaps i am getting better.

9) Watch tv till 3am in the morning. On a school night.
10) Ignore deadlines and in a moment of hyperactivity, finished my reports
11) Bite my pillow.
12) Act pre-menstrual.

I could BE pre-menstrual.

13) Entertain erractive thoughts.
14) Teach the cat to salsa.
15) Drink tea, A LOT.
16) Make faces at the mirror.
17) Pretend i don't have friends then proceed to go out with as many people as i can find.
18) Eat sushi, A LOT too.
19) Fantasize about ramens.
20) Pretend to be a human sausage roll.

Whatever works.

Not having your choice...

Last night, me and him had dinner at the food court at Bugis Junction after our appointment with the consultant from Shangri-la. Nothing very eventful but... i am really dying to have some ramen. Along the way to Bugis, something got into my head that i would like to have ramen and i guess the idea stuck. He was okie with it, but once we got there, he mentioned eating at the food court instead. I guess i ought to have insisted to have ramen but decided that i wasn't going to 'be difficult' since it was only food. When i was at the food court, i couldn't really decide what i wanted because there wasn't really anything that i wanted from there at all. Still, i had to make a choice and picked yong tau hu. Throughout dinner, while eating yong tau hu, i kept thinking about ramen.

Hot soupy ramen.

Yong tau hu never tasted worse but it 'felt' even more miserable because i could actually be eating ramen instead. In the end, i finished my yong tau hu, a most unsatisfying meal. So much so that i impulsively went to buy an old chang kee curry puff to try and meet that need for satisfaction, despite the fact that i was having a sorethroat. As it turned out, i couldn't even finish the curry puff (though it tasted better) and now my throat seems to be worse.

Not a very interesting story but... while chewing my curry puff a rather interesting analogy came to mind. I realized how much marriage can be like that if we don't follow our hearts when choosing a partner. I could marry someone I never really wanted (i.e. Mr Yong Tau Hu) and have a really miserable marriage because i would keep thinking of Mr Ramen. And to satisfy my needs, started to have an affair with Mr Curry Puff but lived to regret it later, leaving me to wish that I had insisted on marrying Mr Ramen in the first place.

So the moral of the story, if you could call it that is... If i have insisted on what i really wanted instead of going along with what others' wanted, i would not be sitting here typing this, while nursing a sorethroat. But then, thankfully i have defintely picked the right guy for marriage.I just need to work on the choosing where to eat bit. *grins*

Life can't just be time punctuated by events.

Away and back again...

Penang had nice food...
It's a pity that i didn't get to taste it.

Really wanted a break but i think i need a break to recuperate from the break. I guess i should have known it wasn't going to be a typical 'break' when i am travelling with, on one hand, him (aka the SO) and on the other, my mother. Actually, it wasn't too bad since they hit off pretty well but everything else was horrid. For me, at least.

First off, the flight was supposed to take off at 6.15pm but after spending 2 hours on the plane ON the runway, it had to taxi back to the holding area for us to change to another flight due to some problems. But like my optimistic mom said, "Better for plane to spoil while on the ground than up in the air". Finally reached Penang and checked into the hotel around midnight, starving because we only had sandwiches served while we waited on the runway. The hotel was way below expectation, the only consolation being the showerhead works and so did the TV. Woke up next morning feeling pretty sick and had slight fever. Ate medication but may have an allergic reaction to it (it was that or the prawns from lunch) because by 2pm my eye puffed up and i turned red. Good thing i had my kebaya measurements taken in early morning when i was still feeling pretty okie by mom's friend who is a well-known kebaya tailor in penang. Very pretty nonya kebayas that were fully hand-embroidered and took 2 weeks to make.

By afternoon, stopped medication and took just panadol instead. Took a 1 1/2 hour car ride to Alor Star to attend her friend's in-laws' 50th wedding anniversary. Spent the car ride sleeping and woke up giddy. Dinner was a lavish 80 tables affair with possibly the whole chinese community from kedah attending. Couldn't eat much because threw up after the 3rd dish was served. It was an nostalgic 80s experience, full of getai singers and cheesy dancers in hot mini shorts blasting their lungs out singing chinese, cantonese, hokkien and the occasional techno britney-spears' not-so-latest hits. The SO was properly impressed and intrigued, being new to this type of ostentatious "village" affair but for me, it was nice to be a good ole malaysian girl again, if only i was healthy enough to enjoy it. Pity... heard the food was really good too.

Next day didn't fare much better though the fever subsided but couldn't eat much still. Watched the SO and mom wolf down penang laksa, popiah, dimsum, char kuey tiao, ice kachang, goreng yam/sweet potato/green bean cakes, lao ba, etc etc WOULD have been painful, if i was less dazed and nauseous. Managed to exert some energy when i visited the bridal tailor introduced by an old friend. Very nice workmanship and design. Had to keep mentally alert while there but brain collapsed once i came out again. The SO predicted correctly that i would do exact just that. I knew there was a reason why i am going to marry him... hmmm...

Bought tons of tau sar piah and beh teh soh, famous local produces from penang. Attempted a little bit of sight-seeing but body not really into it, so did not register much. The SO took a bit of pictures though, but i have a feeling most of it would be food related. Wish i could remember more. Ah well. Gave up by late afternoon and took the earlier flight back to Singapore, feeling like i shouldn't have left at all.

Didn't i say i needed a break?

Happy Children's Day and I'm off to...

Penang!!
WOohOoo..

I am always so thankful for all the lil 'extra' holidays we get working in a school... like youth day, teacher's day, children's day. So lucky me... a long weekend ahead and i am off to penang tomorrow with my mom and dearest mm to attend a dinner and just chill out.

Have tons of work still left piling... oh well.. what the heck... i need a break.

Methods

I never really thought of blogging this down but it might help me as time goes along...

One of my greatest challenges at work is trying to convince parents and even some teachers that the methods of intervention we propose for our student with autism is the 'appropriate' or even most 'suitable' one. For the longest time, i myself didnt have much clarity on what exactly is the right intervention methods, being new to the job. My basic training back in university when working with children with autism is using the ABA methods, and for the longest time, it was the prevailing method of choice in terms of intervention. But when i started working, i realized that there are a lot of alternative methods as well as 'treatments' out there for the autistic population.

Autism is a tricky diagnosis. No one really knows where it comes from exactly... which genes... which triggers.. even how it affects each individual is different on the autistic spectrum. I guess ABA has the longest history in terms of working with children with autism, stretching all the way back to the time of Lovaas, and the method itself has been evolving as well. Then there is also sensory integration methods, sound therapy, cranial therapy, floorplay, drugs/diet therapy, even acupuncture which is now readily avaliable out there which promises a 'cure'. Then of course, there's TEACCH, the structured teaching program started 40 years ago in North carolina which i went for training in recently. From all the parents that i had worked with in the last 3 1/2 years, different parents/caregivers and teachers have sworn by different methods which they felt work for their individual child.

I am really in no position to say which is the 'RIGHT' methods and at work, we could very well opt for an eclectic approach in our service delivery. However, from past experience, it didn't worked very well, mainly because to be truly effective in having an eclectic approach, i believe we have to be well-versed in the characteristic of autism as well as the various intervention philosophy and methods. If we don't have that, it would be confusing for the child and the one delivering the services.

Personally, i have a few core beliefs in what I can do for a child with autism. I believe in individualization because as i said, different child will have different autism profile. I also believe in utilizing their strengths (in visual learning) to facilitate learning in their weaker areas (auditory processing). And most importantly, i believe in helping the child to be independent. With all these in mind, i felt what's most comfortable for me is to use the structure teaching methods whose philosophy of how they view a child with autism coincide with mine. There is no conflict of interest and i can honestly see how, when applied individually to suit each child, i am creating meaning for the child in his environment.

It was rather amazing for me when i went to North Carolina and see how the methods can work for children with different abilities. Even more so, i am just so impressed by the respect the therapist from TEACCH have for the children stemming right from their philosophy that each child is an individual, hence WE have to take the initiative to go into their world to bring them out rather than attempting to mould them by force into ours like how i see some people attempt to do.

I guess it really bores down to what the therapist or caregiver believe in and ultimately, i do respect what the parents want for their child even though i may not be able to deliver what they want because of what i believe and i am trained in. I think the only thing i can promise is that i will deliver to the best of my abilities in the method which i believe in.

oh ya baby..

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Sprinting amidst the candy store, clutching gilded boxing gloves, cometh Aurorin! And she gives a cruel scream: "I'm seriously going to bruise you harder than God thought possible!!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Sticky Stool

Not quite appropriate material for dinner conversation but somehow it is befitting that i honour the first time i scraped poo off a child's underpants with an entry.

Over the last 3 1/2 years at work, i had been bitten, scratched, punched, and kicked, on top of having to wipe drool, change diapers, and even mope up urine when a child 'shee shee' in my therapy room upon occasions. I guess that's part and parcel of work. Occasionally, the highlights as well because it made my work life quite interesting. A couple of times, the child also 'poo-pooed' but usually i just needed to bring the child back to the teacher or caregiver who will take care of the ermm.. 'problem'.

However, it didn't quite happen that way on monday morning when i brought a 4yr old to my therapy room. He was doing quite well in therapy until i suddenly realized that his pants 'looked' wet. I checked the mat, the chair and the carpet for the tell-tale puddle but didn't find any. Fearing the worse, i brought him back to the classroom only to find it empty and the rest of the class (plus teacher) is nowhere to be found.

In the end, i brought him to the toilet and took off his pants only to find a HUGE lump of stool stuck right to his underpants. It wasn't the runny sort nor the hard kind, it was sticky, similar to the constitunency of clay. Thank god i had a blocked nose and couldn't smell anything. By the time i took off his pants, there were stool on his underpants, legs and shoes. Luckily, most caregivers usually pack along an extra pants and underwear for such emergencies. So i left the dear boy who was quite oblivious to what's happening with another teacher who was there with her students at the toilet and ran to get his bag.

I showered him and changed his clothes before proceeding to try and ermm.. scrap the stool from his underpants and shoes before i wash them. The boy was quite happy by this time, after he was cleaned and dressed while i was busy trying not to think too much scrapping stool from his pants into the toilet. Then i washed the underpants, shorts and shoes while trying to keep the boy away from the sink where he was happily splashing water onto himself. These are the days when i wish i had an extra pair of hands because i had to almost stick out one leg to block him from the sink, while i scrubbed his pants with my hands. It took a bit of coordination but when i finally delivered the boy back to class, he was very happy and looked quite presentable.

Not quite the glamourous idea of what a psychologist do eh? Actually, all those pre-conceived notions i had before i started work are almost, if not all, demolished. But it is not too bad doing this... it only became quite sad when scrapping sticky poo off underpants was the best thing that happened to me on monday. Ah well... i always knew i much rather be with kids who is not toilet-trained than stuck in a meeting with adults who are busy trying to push away blame and responsibilities from themselves.

Swept away

It has been a while and truly quite swept away by... things.

Didn't quite managed to do what i had set out to do... and got a little stressed in the beginning (and stressing him out at the same time) trying to keep to the 'biblical' timeline of organizing the *cough* event for next year. Thankfully he has been wonderfully sane in contrast, a little laid back perhaps but i think it was a good balance. I think we finally hit on the right dynamics and pace *eureka!* Yes.. at least a person who can keep me grounded AND tolerate my special brand of anxiety.

Work hasn't been going quite the way i expected. Tons of curve balls thrown our way and if not for my colleagues, it would have been difficult to stay focused and sane. It was a nice break today when we had our children's day carnival. It was a massive party and we had free flow of candy floss, ice cream, pop corn, drinks, balloons sculptures, magic shows, bouncy castles, games stalls, motorized rides and so much, so much more... Some colleagues and I wore clown costumes sponsored by a costume shop and had our face painted for the carnival. They entertained the crowd while i was the emcee for the event. Most of the kids really liked the clowns though a few were quite frightened by our painted faces. The parents were tickled and we got quite a lot of request to have our photos taken.

We really had to thank the sponsors for coming up with the money and students from SMU for volunteering their time to do up the stalls and dress up as barney. We also had real clowns from the same costume shop who juggled and made balloons animals for the children. The kids had a wild time watching us and playing the games and jumping on the bouncy castles. It rained for a while and the castles were wet, but the kids didn't mind though. By the end of the event, we had a lot of muddy kids running around. In any case, it was really a great day and i had tons of fun (at the expense of losing my voice for shouting so much).

I guess life has a way of balancing out the good and the bad. Each day is a special brew that propels me to want more for the next day, heck the aching bones!

On why Sept 9 is special...

Conspiratory colleagues
Big aluminium box
Opened
Envelope
10 Fluttering Yellow Papers
"meow meow meow"
"Would you be with me "jiu jiu"?"
Smaller aluminium box
Opened
2 bags of scented dried flowers
White T-shirt "yeah! Cos mm love xmm"
Put on T-shirt
Parking lot
Him, tanned & sweating in grey-blue shirt
Blue bouquet of red-tinged roses
One Moshi Mushroom
A locked car
A blue gift box in white netting and blue ribbon sitting in driver's seat
Opened
A ring box tied with a blue-heart hair band
Put on hair band
Opened
A neo-print "mm & xmm" on blue background
A personally designed diamond ring

Could the answer be otherwise?



All i have to say is...
FINALLY... and... thank you...

How do you spell B U S Y?

Sometimes i wished that i didn't go off for training for 3 weeks and having work pile up on me like that. 3 weeks of overdue work and it HAS to be the semester where there are more assessments cases (reports reports reports), PLUS being the year where i had to be incharge of program for D&D, having my co-incharge being sick, AND conducting training sessions on what we had learnt in the US.

Tired & stress doesn't quite describe how i am feeling now. I even dream the night before that it was the first day of school in term 4 and i had forgotten about my assessment case for the day. I had having things overdue and over my head. Bad for my karma and temper. Didn't help that he went off for reservist now too. Sigh. I need a miracle!!!

Okie.

Ranting over and jobs still left to be completed. I am happy to have gone for training despite the work i had to do when i come back.

I guess i'll manage somehow...

The Young'uns

In the new term of school, we suddenly seems to have a influx of young (and pretty) therapists here. There's the two new OTs down the corridor, a very quiet SW and of course, our chatty new psych here in the office. There's a very nice and dynamic feel about the place and it sorts of energizes me. Looks like a good bunch to work with, on top of the other wonderful colleagues i have here whom i already work well with. Most of them are here on their first job and it is really refreshing to see them and of course, at times i do feel a tad (just a tad, mind you) bit... old. Like Angela said, in two years time, i wont be in my twenties anymore. But that's okie. The good thing about aging is, everyone has to go through it with you. *grins* So i am just going to wait on the otherside of the '30' door and wait for the rest to catch up... as always.

Competition...

It was probably 2 weeks ago (gosh, where has the time gone?) when me and him were at a dinner and one of the girls there openly flirted with him.. She was really pretty and had big sparkling eyes and a sweet friendly smile. I could tell she was quite smitten with him and when she sat next to him, she kept looking and smiling at him. On top of that, there was the constantly offering of food. It was quite evident where her attention lies. It was quite blatant and effective, since he had his eyes on her too.

I guess i should be infuriated with both of them. But then, how does one get upset with a absolutely adorable 18 month-old? Gosh. Before the evening was over, baby Joelle had the both of us eating out of the palm of her hand, just like how she did to her parents. A clearly devious little baby but Oh-so-adorable. Sigh...

Dinner & Dance 28th August 2004

Finally... ITS OVER!

Things went surprisingly well during the vintage-themed D&D, though a few hiccups here and there were expected. Practically spent the whole evening standing up and running around on those silly boots(ouch feet ouch). I really should take on less if i can help it. Besides doing the program, overseeing it, partial emcee for lucky draw and getting the acts together, there were also two competition items i was involved in. But i think it is really worth it since people seemed to really enjoyed the evening despite going quite overtime (whole thing ended at 11.30!). The most memorable event though, was getting on stage and getting the rainbow award alongside with a wonderful teacher. I know i probably doesn't quite deserve the staff award (for exceptional performance), especially when my companion is such a great teacher but it makes me feel quite proud nonetheless. Ah well. Seems like i cant really skive off now. *rueful smile* Thanks to all those people who actually bothered to nominate me. You guys sure you all know what you all are talking about? *heh heh*

And a final thanks to my dear mm for shooting the video for the whole night. Erm, it does seem that i appeared quite often on the video ... i wonder why. *grins*

Another silly quiz...

OoooOo.. blue.. my colour! ;D


! You are most Like A Sapphire !Dark, mysterious - but unforgettable. You have a
deepbeauty. Delicate, and shy you try to stay away from
thelimelight but often your intelligence puts you in
at thedeep end. You're like a Sapphire, because, your
beauty is priceless.You're intelligent, full of opinions, and not
big-headed about it all.Sometimes you need to put yourself out there, as
you can be a bit shy.Congratulations ... You're the mysterious gem
everybody wants to have and learn more about.

?? Which Precious Gem Are You ??
brought to you by

It is Wednesday and I...

- have two aching calves and a stiff right shoulder after last night's gym session *groan*
- just finished doing my program flow for saturday's d&d
- need to rest my eyes after staring at the computer for 2 hours *argh argh*
- am still pissed with P about happened yesterday at work
- wonder what should i wear for saturday
- miss walking in New York and the weather
- have too much things to do
- cannot remember what is it that i have forgotten
- have a craving for tao huey and you tiao
- suddenly wanted to see an old friend
- just had a msg that an ex-colleague just gave birth few minutes ago to a baby girl
- realized i shouldn't be so busy on a wednesday
- think perhaps i may not be that busy if i can take time to blog this
- really much rather be home sleeping in this rainy weather